


what will it take to make or break (this hint of love)

by lio_fotia, puzzleships (lio_fotia)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, another haircut fic im sorry, i just like tenderness and my fiance gave me a word prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21961924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lio_fotia/pseuds/lio_fotia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lio_fotia/pseuds/puzzleships
Summary: sometimes a haircut is planned and sometimes it's done on your own with kitchen scissors and that's valid
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	what will it take to make or break (this hint of love)

**Author's Note:**

> i asked for word prompts on my twitter (@puzzleships) and my fiance dropped "mirror" obvi expecting angst but i wrote this instead

He’d felt it for so long, the heaviness that dragged his head down like an anchor. But as Riku looked in the mirror, he felt like he was drowning.

Kairi has asked how he could see through his bangs one day after they’d gotten home. He’d laughed it off but as soon as she’d said it, his hair had suddenly felt so... heavy.

He’d let it grow out, having no time for self care as he worked tirelessly to wake Sora up. And after he changed into his Ansem form, not only did he not care enough about his body to look after it, he wasn’t even sure anything that he did would transfer. Really, he hadn’t even expected to come back to his regular body ever.

Now, as he looked himself over in the mirror, he couldn’t stand it. He hadn’t even noticed it until it had been pointed out but now it almost hurt to feel the hair in his eyes and draped down his back. He knew it had to change and it had to change now.

After taking one last wilting glance at the mirror, he moved into the kitchen as quickly as he could play off to himself as normal. He scrambled through what felt like every drawer before finally pulling out the kitchen scissors.

He knew if Kairi were here, she’d chide him not just for not going to a professional but also for not even looking for proper hair cutting scissors. But for now, these would have to do. Anything to get rid of it. To get these thoughts out of his head. Still, he swallowed around the lump in his throat as he tried his best to at the very least not run with the scissors.

As he approached the mirror, he tried his best not to look, turning the scissors over in his hands carefully. They were dulled with use and they would definitely make anywhere near even cuts. He could only bring himself to care for a moment before he raised the scissors up, holding a chunk of his hair and making the first cut.

I t was only where he thought the split ends stopped but instantly his mood changed and he felt he needed to work faster, to get rid of more. To get more of this feeling of being almost okay. That was all he’d asked for for so long, even before he’d fucked everything up. Just some sort of peace, anywhere he could find it.

Suddenly, barely thinking about it, he dove in. He chunked out bigger and bigger sections of the weight that had held him down. He somehow managed to keep his breathing in check and hold back any visible signs of being as overwhelmed as he was. Even if it was just him alone, he didn’t want to see himself lose it like that.

The cuts were, as he’d guessed they would be, entirely shabby and uneven but he couldn’t care less. Chasing this feeling was the only thing he _ could _ care about at this moment. He was entirely focused on snipping more and more that he didn’t even notice the sound of the door opening or the quiet shuffling of feet behind him as someone walked in on... whatever it was he was doing.

He didn’t even catch Sora’s reflection in the mirror and when Sora finally spoke, though it was quiet in careful attempt to avoid surprising him, Riku jumped luckily managing to avoid hitting any part of his head with the scissors.

“Hey Riku,” Sora was talking like he was about to spook a wounded animal, like he’d often spoken to him after Riku’s return and Riku found himself swallowing again at the undeserved kindness and care he heard when Sora spoke his name, “what’re you doing?”

From anyone else, the question being as carefully spoken as it was would probably hit Riku with some stupid urge to make a sarcastic remark. It’d be naive, almost stupid, but with Sora, Riku knew better. He knew Sora meant more than what Riku was doing with his hands.

And because Riku knew this with absolute certainty, he struggled to answer. He’d never had to put this feeling that’d hung permanently over his head into words. Was it guilt? Regret? Or was it just...  _ heavy _ ?

Which is exactly why Riku dodged the question directed at his emotional state entirely, choosing to answer the obvious route instead rather than try to sort his own head out in front of Sora.

“Haircut.” he said simply, looking down from where he’d turned to face Sora’s reflection in the mirror.

One of the greatest things about Sora, and this wasn’t to be taken lightly as there were so many great things about Sora that Riku could probably make a numbered list reaching well over a hundred points, was that he knew when to keep pushing and when not to. He knew when Riku was just stupidly hiding something and when Riku just couldn’t find words, or at least not say them.

Sora nodded, giving him a small smile to indicate that he understand which one of those situations it was. Riku couldn’t help but sigh in relief. He’d known he could count on Sora for this quiet comfort.

“Do you want some help?”

Riku paused at that, going still. He rolled the idea over in his mind. Before Sora had asked, Riku had thought for sure that this was something he needed to do alone. He’d have to take away this feeling away himself. As he looked at Sora in the mirror again, though, and thought about Sora’s constant offers to help and how he’d always said he wanted to be there for Riku, he felt like he couldn’t finish the task without Sora.

He nodded quietly, not sure if he could get the words out of his mouth.

Sometimes Sora shined so brightly that for a moment, Riku would think stupidly that he’d be blinded if he looked directly at him. The smile on Sora’s face as he accepted Sora’s want to help made Riku get hit with that feeling.

Sora approached and Riku turned, handing him the scissors before turning back around to face the mirror, closing his eyes and letting out a quiet breath. As Sora inspected him, Riku was one hundred percent sure Sora was the only one he could ever trust with this.

“So, based on the work you’ve already done, I’m assuming you want it short?” from anyone else, the remark would’ve been sarcastic, but as he let out a small hum, eyeing carefully and brushing some of the mess of the hair off Riku’s shoulders, Riku knew he meant the question.

He couldn’t help letting out a laugh, even as he nodded. Thinking on it, Riku knew there were few people other than him would trust Sora with scissors near their hair. Bur also, Riku hadn’t exactly been going for looks when he started so it didn’t make much of a difference to him. He’d be happy with whatever Sora decided.

“You ready, then?” Sora asked, poised like this was the most important task he’d ever take on. He was entirely focused and ready to go as soon as Riku gave him the okay.

“As I’ll ever be, I guess.” Riku smiled at him in the mirror, really trying to play this off as being not important to him as it was as he gave a small nod.

Sora smiled back him as he made the first snip. It wasn’t much, certainly not as much as Riku had been hacking at before and would’ve continued to do, he was sure. He closed his eyes.

" Do a little more.” he said simply. He felt Sora working carefully as he followed the request, moving up a little bit.

“Y’know, this would be a lot easier if you had at least brought a comb.” Sora scolded, and Riku was sure he was giving a small shake of his head as he said. He smiled at the thought, giving a small laugh.

Even with his eyes closed, Riku could tell the cut wasn’t anywhere near being even but he could only bring himself to care about it for a moment. It felt too nice to care.

Though Sora was cutting more at a time than he’d started with, he was still slow and gentle, humming as he continued. Riku opened his eyes to watch him work, feeling Sora’s fingers pull methodically through his hair. Even though he wasn’t doing it himself, Riku still felt the strange new haircut feeling Sora had called "phantom hair" when they were kids. He smiled a little wider at the thought.

Finally, Sora brushed the loose hair from his neck and shoulders, scolding him playfully again for not thinking to grab an apron.

Riku caught a look at his hair for the first time since Sora had started. It looked weird with his bangs so long but Sora had done a lot better than anyone would think he would.

“Can you turn around for me now?” Sora asked, “I need to do your bangs and then you should be done.”

Riku obeyed, looking at Sora properly for the first time since he’d handed him the scissors. Sora still had his serious face on, the one that indicated he was hard at work at whatever the task was he was attempting.

“I’ve wondered for a while how you’re able to see through all that hair.” Sora laughed, unknowingly echoing Kairi’s words. It didn’t feel nearly as bad as when he knew the hair would be gone shortly.

Sora seemed to work even more carefully as he clipped at Riku’s bangs, probably wanting to avoid taking one of Riku’s eyes out. He slowed for a moment, tucking a lock of hair behind Riku’s ear and lingering for just a moment, looking into Riku’s eyes as they became more visible before going back to work.

“And... There we go!” Sora said proudly, smoothing his newly short bangs.

I t’d been a long time since he’d seen Sora’s smile in it’s full glory and he felt starstruck as he looked at him.

“Maybe I haven’t been seeing.” he said quietly.

“I know it’s not the best cut in the world but I’m not exactly trained for this kind of thing.” Sora joked.

“It’s perfect.” Riku said, and he meant it, laughing as he ruffled his new hair. He hadn’t turned yet but he knew it was.

“You haven’t even seen it yet, Riku.”

Riku held back the words in his throat. That he didn’t even need to look and that he knew anything that Sora had worked that hard on would always be perfect for him.

Sora gave him a bit of a look before laughing. He turned Riku around to face the mirror, brushing more hair off his back. Somehow, Riku felt even better. This was the change, the changed he’d needed and without Sora there, he didn’t think it would’ve felt this right.

“Thank you.” he said, feeling another lump in his throat. This one was so much different than the one he’d started out with though. And Riku caught a look at Sora in the mirror, still smiling so brightly that the lights in the room felt dim in comparison. Suddenly the words in his heart pressed against the back of his lips like word vomit.

“I love you.” Riku blurted, caught entirely in the moment, in the way Sora’s eyes crinkled and he saw the lines around his mouth.

Suddenly, everything he’d been feeling crashed down inside of him. He knew he’d fucked up in a way he never had before. That he’d probably just ruined the best connection he could ever even dream of having with a single phrase.

He closed his eyes, waiting for Sora to shift away from him and to hear his retreating footsteps. The sound of the door closing loudly in the quiet room. He expected the end to come more than ever before, somehow.

Riku had fucked up a lot to put it very lightly but this was most likely a breaking point. This was where everything ended.

He didn’t expect the sound that pulled him out of his own head to be Sora’s laughter. Not mocking laughter, but laughter that felt nervous but assured. Not awkward in the way Riku feared either. This was still gentle and-- Sora wasn’t moving away from him.

Riku finally felt he was able to open his eyes to look at Sora’s reflection. The smile hadn’t faded.

“Riku...” Sora trailed off, “I thought you could tell already. You are so unbelieving of your own importance to me... Of course I love you too.”

Riku relaxed, though he still felt shocked at the admission, at the return of these feelings. Sora moved closer and Riku had just enough time to thank god for the fact that Sora was making the first move because he knew if it’d been on him, he’d have sat on it forever.

Sora is kissing him before he could continue thinking about anything, though. Just a small peck but it was enough. It was so much of enough.

Sora’s lips were chapped but warm. They were perfect and everything about this moment was perfect, even as Sora stumbled a bit when pulling back. Sora was so perfect he had to close his eyes to take it in. He was trying to take in the full moment because he was sure at any moment he’d wake up and all of this would be gone.

It didn’t though, the moment didn’t end and Sora had reached out to take his hand. He realized both of their hands were shaking. Sora pressed his forehead to Riku’s and let out a steadying breath.

“I guess I know now. That’s what matters right?”

Sora laughed and nodded, not moving back. They stayed there for a while, even as Riku’s neck hurt a bit from leaning down to keep their foreheads together.

It felt so sweet that Riku was sure it should’ve ended sooner but, when he finally actually settled, he was beginning to think the feeling would never stop.

**Author's Note:**

> i know it was a bit shit but i hope u like it anyway ♡


End file.
